I Don't Know Why I Always Fail...
I'm a 3rd year college student from Baguio. Most important to me is my family, my friends, and of course my relationship with God which is not so good right now.
I'm a christian for two years now and I'm also a youth worker in church. My problem is with my studies. I just dont know why I always fail. The hardest part about it is that I review my lessons everytime we have exams. I always try to put extra effort in studying but I always end up with the same result. I failed in all my prelim exam, and right now and I'm in a state of shock. I feel like I wanna quit school right now but I can't.
Second, my relationship with my ex girlfriend is pretty bad right now. We havent talked since christmas break and all we say to each other is hi and hello. I don't want to be so close to her because we might end up liking each other again and I know that this can hinder God's plan for both of us. "Iniisip ko na lang na kung siya talaga ang binigay sakin ni Lord, kahit na hindi pa kami magkita at magusap ng ilang buwan ok lang." ( I'm thinking if she's really the one the Lord wants for me, it won't matter if we dont see or talk to each other for months) God's plan will never be thwarted. Because of all of these, I'm strugling with my walk with God. I backslide last sem (Sept-Dec)and I'm having a hard time coming back to the Lord. When it seems like I recovered from the sins I have committed, new and old problems always arise. Friend, whoever you may be, if ever you are burdened to pray for me, I want you to mention my name to God. I dont know you but my conscience is telling me to trust you.
I prayed and I waited. I do what I have to do but to no avail. What keeps me going right now is God's promises, that's all.Im still waiting for a miracle in my life to happen, for the Lord to be real in my life once again. I'm just so down right now.
God is teaching me a lesson for all the mistakes I made when I backslide( It hurts a lot!) I remember praying to God to discipline me August of 2000. All I can say is be careful what you pray for, because you will get it! All I can say is ...there is still Hope for me as far as the word of God is concerned.
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Sometimes, when bad things happen to us, we often think it is God's way of punishing us for the sins we committed. But our God is not a God of punishment and cruelty. He is a loving God who allows us to live our life and make mistakes. He is a forgiving God who accepts us back when we ask for forgiveness. He is a merciful God who ushers us back in when we seek His presence. Nobody said our walk with God is an easy thing. We may encounter so many difficulties during this walk---pressure of passing school, problem in dealing with others, being faithful to our commitment to Him, but all these hardships are not designed to take away our joy and to live a life of failure and hopelessness, away from Him. It is supposed to strenghten us and help us persevere. It teaches us to be humble and accept the things we cannot accomplish without His guidance and support. It teaches us to depend on Him and trust Him with our life. For God knows what is best for us. He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us.
Yes a lot is asked of us, but think of what God gave up for us---His only son, so that we may be saved. Read Section 4.54 of the Book of Hope to find out what it takes to be called Jesus' disciple.
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