The coolest group in school has finally included you in their Friday night hangout at a guy's house whose parents never seem to be there. You decide to go. Just a few minutes after you get there, someone offers you a beer. Your mind goes into overdrive, thinking through all your choices. Voices from your parents, your friends and even TV personalities are all arguing inside your head, pulling you in different directions. If only you had thought this through before you got there!
So Many Choices
Life is full of choices - about school, sports, dating, friends, peer pressure, smoking, drinking, drugs, sex. Some choices are a cinch to make. Others are harder, especially when you have people around you pressuring you to do something.
The best way to make choice in life and to decide which roads to take is through wisdom. Wisdom means knowing what the best thing is and then apply it to your life.
Unfortunately, many people know what the best thing is, but they don't do it because they let other reasons influence them. We talked to some of our readers to find out why many students decide to smoke, drink, take drugs or break the rules.
1. Peer Pressure
"Students who drink and do drugs want to fit in with people who are doing the same things. They want to be cool and in the popular crowd," says Karly, 12.
Sometimes it can be hard to say “no” because it seems everyone else is doing something, so you want to fit in and be accepted. But acceptance doesn’t always mean being smart or successful…especially when you are running with the wrong crowd.
Being successful often means going against the crowd. The best road to take is often the one with the least traffic. When you begin to drive, which road would you pick – a busy, congested one with lots of wrecks or a less crowded one that will get you where you want to go, faster? The less crowded one, of course!
One of the biggest reasons students go along with the crowd is because they are afraid of being rejected and of what people might think of them if they say, “No way.” Sharon, 13, says “Some people have sex because they are afraid of being made fun of.” But when you do things because you fear others, you’re letting them have control over your life. Don’t you want to decide what to do with your own life? It’s the only one you have!
2. It’s Cool
“People have sex because they think they will have fun and that it will make them cool,” says April, 13.
When someone tries to make you think something is cool without telling you the whole story, it’s called a “spin.” Print advertisements and TV commercials put spins on their pitches all the time so you will want to buy their products. Television shows and movies are famous for getting people to believe things that aren’t completely true.
When people tell you doing drugs, drinking, smoking or having sex are cool, they are putting a spin on these issues because they’re not telling you the bad stuff that comes along with these things. So if you make a decision to do something because it seems cool, it could be too late to get out of it once you find out the truth.
And be aware that one day you will find out the truth, and it will probably be a painful lesson if it has anything at all to do with alcohol, drugs, sex or rebellion.
3. Emotions and Feelings
“People rebel when they are mad about something – either with their friends or at home. Rebelling is the only way they know how to express it or cover for it,” says Joel, 13.
Have you ever noticed how fast your emotions can change? One minute you might be happy, and the next you might be angry. Emotions aren’t a whole lot different from the sand patterns on the beach that change every time a wave comes. So if a person makes a bad decision based on an emotion (like being angry) they could regret it when their feelings change. And most of the time, they always do!
The same is true about sex. How many times have you heard people say, “I just got caught up in a moment. One thing led to another, and then we were having sex.”? Physical relationships and sex have emotions written all over them – so make your decisions before you’re faced with temptation!
Tapping into logic rather emotions, leads to good decisions. Wisdom is strong, like a rock, so it will never budge. A decision based on wisdom will probably always be a good decision.
4. No Consequences
I think rebellion happens when someone thinks nothing can hurt them and they can get in trouble,” says Becca, 13.
In science, you learn that everything that happens has an equal and opposite reaction. That’s true when it comes to our lives too. Every single thing you do affects your life, the lives of others or both.
Many people your age feel invincible, like nothing could ever possibly hurt them. But there are so many stories of students, who prove that there are negative consequences to drinking, drugs, smoking, sex and rebelling. So if you don’t take our word for it, take theirs.
5. Curiosity
“Students do a lot of things because they never tried it before, and they want to see what it is like,” says Andy, 12.
Growing up involves finding out what life is all about, but it also about coming out with the fewest scrapes, bruises and scars as possible along the way. Curiosity gets a lot of people to try things but, in the end, they often find out things they wished they had never known.
If you feel you’ve just gotta find out what drugs, alcohol, smoking or sex are all about, read the real-life stories on this website. There is no spin involved here – just the plain truth. Then you can decide for yourself if you really want to take these bumpy roads!
Keep your head out of the sand and your eyes wide open, and your ride should be nothing but smooooth cruisin’.
