He's Always On My Mind
Hello, I'm Khraze from Nueva Vizcaya, Philippines. I’m 21 years old, a student.
My story is just an ordinary story a normal teenage girl would tell. It happened fours years ago. There's a certain guy whom I secretly admired during my sophomore years. I know that it's only an infatuation because we’re still young then. Two years had passed and my love for him just grew deeper. I did what I thought was the cheapest action in my life; I wrote him a letter telling how I’ve fallen for him secretly. However, in that same year I heard that he was courting a certain girl. I was hurt then. I felt I was the ugliest, the cheapest, and the most unworthy girl at that time. After that, I promised myself to forget him because I believed we're not for each other and this love of mine was impossible. It was like heaven and earth. I was so desperate then that I cut my long hair, I did not eat and I did not concentrate in my studies. Another year had passed; I finished high school and then enrolled as a first year college student in Baguio, but due to financial problem, I was not able to continue. It was during this time in my life that I always thought of him.
Another four or five years have passed, and though I did everything to forget him, our paths crossed again, this time as text mates. Once again, I told him how I loved him dearly. He insisted to know me but I did not tell him who I was. We became text mates and in such a short time we became close. I felt like I was in heaven for sometime but reality struck me that I've got to stop this or else I would be in the loosing end. Without any word, I've stopped communicating with him. My life was back to normal again. I was just the simple girl he had known for so long, just his batch mate and friend.
Until now, I still think of him. God knows I did everything to get him out of my mind but I have always failed. I think I will be crazy.... I really want to forget him totally.
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It is said that love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you will just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. So don't be in a hurry, just patiently wait. Focus your mind on things that will enrich you personally so that you won't be preoccupied with thoughts of him. You have to be determined in doing this, you have to rise above your situation. Nobody else can do that for you but yourself.
True love sets us free. It does not imprison us. This is the kind of love that God wants us to experience. As we come to know this love, only then we can love others that way. Read Section 2.10 of the Book of Hope and see the greatest kind of love and learn from it.
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