SYNOPSIS
Inspector Jacques Clouseau, a name that strikes fear into the hearts of criminals everywhere -- and anyone else he comes across as well.
Maybe it’s because his deductive powers are so inadequate, his grasp of the obvious so elusive, his command of the language so severely limited and his physical coordination so completely lacking.
But while his approach may be unorthodox and often confounding, he always manages to solve the crime -- in his own fashion.
At least until now.
In the action-packed comedy, The Pink Panther, the bumbling Inspector Closeau (Steve Martin) takes on his most important case ever.
World famous soccer coach Yves Gluant has just led Team France to victory over Team China. Surrounded by grateful adoring fans and his beautiful lover, the international pop star Xania (Beyoncé Knowles), Gluant is felled by a poisoned dart. In the ensuing panic, Gluant’s priceless diamond ring, “The Pink Panther,” mysteriously disappears.
The murder becomes a media sensation and a national obsession. Cracking the case falls to Chief Inspector Dreyfus (Kevin Kline), who is up for the prestigious Medal of Honor -- for the seventh time. Aware that he cannot afford to make a single mistake -- at least none that can be attributed to him -- Dreyfus presses the indefatigable Inspector Clouseau into service.
Clouseau and his new assistant, the steadfast, stoic Gendarme Gilbert Ponton (Jean Reno), follow a tangle of clues that leads them all over Paris and, eventually, New York City.
In the Big Apple, Clouseau and Ponton travel to Times Square and the nearby diamond district, as well as to the city’s posh Fifth Avenue and the renowned Waldorf Astoria Hotel. Along the way, Clouseau and Ponton are waylaid by elusive diamond cutters, would-be thugs, notorious bandits, smarmy casino owners, secret agents, mysterious trainers and an exotic beverage called “The Flaming Mojito.”
One by one, Clouseau narrows his search and tracks down the most likely suspects. They include Xania, a spurned soccer star (William Abadie), a millionaire casino owner (Roger Rees) and a flirtatious P.R. publicist (Kristin Chenoweth)
Clouseau’s process is fascinating, if harrowingly circuitous. But he never loses his focus, his purpose or his pride -- much to the consternation of Dreyfus, who may or may not have Clouseau’s best interests at heart. In the end, with the aid of Ponton and his devoted secretary Nicole (Emily Mortimer), Clouseau must unmask the murderer and keep Dreyfus from taking credit.
Review by
MATTHEW KINNE
I wanted to start this review with a Pink Panther joke but I could only remember the punch line. The punch line is “Dead-ant. Dead-ant. Dead-ant. Dead-ant….” - a take off on the Henri Mancini theme song. So, if you know the set-up part of this joke, somebody blog me and let us all enjoy it.
So, not knowing this joke, I’ll start by telling you that as a rule, I hate remakes. I only think remakes are acceptable if you can truly bring something truly new to the table like improved CGI special effects, etc. (I thought the Peter Jackson KING KONG was quite good.) Yet conversely, I thought the PLANET OF THE APES remake was abominable, and CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY was only passable.
As far as remakes go, THE PINK PANTHER is also merely passable entertainment. In other words, it entertains even if it isn't orignal. Steve Martin is one of my very favorite comedic actors of all time. Nevertheless, the original Inspector Clouseau Peter Sellers ranks even higher in comic ability. Clouseau and Sellers are so inexorably linked that it’s difficult to imagine anyone else filling out the trench coat of the bumbling, inept French policeman. Martin certainly faces an uphill climb. Many Sellers purists will detest this incarnation.
Nevertheless, this PINK PANTHER showed lots of promise with its pedigree of supporting cast members. The coolest working French actor today, Jean Reno stars as Clouseau’s sidekick, Gendarme Gilbert Ponton. Emily Mortimer, hot off the heels of savvy MATCH POINT, stars as Clouseau’s secretary and eventual love interest, Nicole. The always skillful and dynamic Kevin Kline plays the fall guy, Clouseau’s boss, Chief Inspector Dreyfus, whose character suffers the greatest pains and indignities to comic effect. And, Beyoncé Knowles looks and sings great in a very limited role.
The plot is simple. Someone kills off a famous young French soccer coach and steals his famous Pink Panther diamond. Chief Inspector hires Clouseau to get on the case, only to buy time so that when the Chief Inspector is ready, he’ll solve the case, and take all the fame and glory that comes with it. Clouseau bumbles his way through, amassing clues that go nowhere, but somehow puts the pieces together at the final hour.
Humor abounds but not all of the comedy works. Lots of slapstick shtick ensues, as does a smattering of sexually suggestive material. I laughed the hardest when Cloueseau tries to learn an American accent and fails miserably. (You’ll learn what a “damburgert” is after watching.) Another funny scene is when Clouseau and Ponton dress up in a disguise of colorful leotards, and then must perform a goofy dance to foil would-be thwarters.
I was going to consider this movie spiritually insignificant. (After all, I have been blamed for squeezing spiritual blood from cinematic stones in the past. I’ve learned one doesn’t have to find a spiritual lesson in everything for it to have value. Humor, joy and art have value in and of themselves.) But, then I realized this movie does have very strong spiritual significance.
THE PINK PANTHER demonstrates that the foolish things of this world sometimes confound the wise. Clouseau hasn’t the intelligence or skill to be a brilliant crime solver, but he does have his heart in the right place and he loves justice. These two fine attributes go a long way, and they overcome the pride and arrogance of the Chief Inspector. Clouseau wins out in the end. He encourages all ugly ducklings and bumbling buffoons that competence isn’t number one. God loves to use the weak to achieve His purposes.
